Dear Mr. Putin—
So you were in the #KGB? That’s really cool. A lot of Americans like you, which is why so many of them are not buying into the idea that Russian state actors hacked the Democratic National Committee for election time. The #SOVIET spirit is still alive and well, even after so many years!
You may not know me yet, but my name is Robert Brooks Authement and I speak with the interest of US Intelligence Community at heart when I make this modest proposal. In order to take the central focus off of conflict in middle east campaigns leading to gruesome casualties on all sides, I have a three point suggestion as to the next natural course of history and which direction we might choose to steer it.
1.) We stage a joint space operation false flag which can be visible by news agencies and the naked eye. It is acceptable that Russia blames U.S. while my nation blames Russia in the public eye.
2.) Meanwhile, we make an offer of true peace and agreement to run cyber-operations, intelligence and security operations, and other potential space operations for the sake of instituting the nostalgia of the old Cold War between our nations. This plan is tentatively called “Cold War 2.”
3.) In exchange for our vow of peace and willingness to cooperate on this higher level, the United States of America requests the Russian Federation’s assistance in collecting intelligence on Chinese cyber-activities, and in thwarting any plans with the potential to hinder this new agreement.
Thanks, our hopes are that the holidays were good to you, and that 2017 is great.