The Inspector Gadget Conspiracy


As much as I would like to say that this is just for fun, just a lighthearted and in the spirit of comedy scenario, the truth of course goes much deeper. When I was young, Inspector Gadget was my absolute favorite cartoon; I couldn’t get enough of it. What was so cool about it? The animation is tasteless, the music tacky, the stories are run of the mill film noir gone cyberpunk. . . Ah! That’s the ticket.

Inspector Gadget is the archetypal rogue detective, always one step away from doom and one step ahead of the police, working to solve problems and crimes deeper than their understanding and exposure allow them to observe. His niece, Penny has a cool backpack computer and Dick Tracy-esque video watch, which could be viewed as either sci-fi fantasy or cleverly promised predictive programming, as such devices are now all the fad. While Gadget himself frequently bumbles the operation, with the help of his niece and her dog, Brain, they generally solve the crime and thwart once again the blackhearted plots of Dr. Claw, the show’s arch-nemesis and evil mastermind.

What the series lacks in depth it makes up for in ingenuity. The tale of the Inspector Gadget Conspiracy is pretty simple, and for disclaimer I am just reposting this idea as it was discovered by people of the internet from the days of yore. Basically, Gadget and Dr. Claw  are the same person. Dr. Claw became disfigured and evil after working for the police force or intelligence community, whom saved his life and cybernetically augmented him. But why is there a good Inspector Gadget and an evil Dr. Claw?

In their quest for unending power, the alleged alphabet soup agency which got involved to save Gadget’s life made a cloned-double. The experiment was not entirely successful because obviously Dr. Claw is hell-bent on vengeance, declaring in wretched demonic voice every episode “You’ll pay for this, Gadget!” Even Inspector Gadget’s cyber brain didn’t end up quite right, as he frequently misfires his applications and botches his attempts at being a crime fighter. He is nevertheless guided by Penny the plucky and intrepid niece, who may or may not be in all actuality his handler.

Get the picture? They made a keeper Gadget and a throwaway version, who became Dr. Claw out of jealousy and wrath for the rejected status he received. Case solved: or is it?

Bonus: The concept of supersoldiers and artificially augmented or cybernetically enhanced soldiers is an age old wonder and fear of civilians and governments alike. These concepts are featured in film franchises like Terminator, Aliens, The Matrix, Transformers, and many, many others. In a Hollywood recycle operation, Inspector Gadget hit the big screen and focused mostly on the whacky and zany antics the cartoon lampooned so well, however I have provided a brief transcript from the original dialog to reveal the methodology and motives behind why the powers that be would want robotic soldiers.

Gadget:  “Why would you do this?”

Villain: “I’ll tell you why.
never get tired, never get hungry…
and never say ‘no.’
Every army in the world
will be made up of my creations.
Imagine the #CONFUSION
Imagine the #PERKS. . .”


Do YOU Have What It Takes To Be #ANONYMOUS???


Facing Reality: Hacking Is Boring

That is to say, that hacking is the process of struggle leading unto the unlocking of a computer. In this case hacking can be a lengthy time consuming process of study and practice, applying techniques learned during study to unlock or effectively own the target machine or network. Scoring is fun, winning fuels the excitement; please remember that the fire in your belly for revolution must be tempered by hours and god forsaken untold aeons of study and practice before you can be considered a Hacktivist for #ANONYMOUS.

Unseen Dangers Of Anonymity

Snug at home on the old WiFi box makes Hacktivism a comfy alternative to actually doing anything. Hacktivism is not for the lazy, intellectually or phsycially, and demands a consistent focus and dedication to improvement of self and skillset. The Hacktivist is the lean restless type, ever consumed with a hunger for knowledge and a lust for power to balance the universe. While marching in protest, an #ANONYMOUS Hacktivist can easily become implicated into situations that are either compromising or downright dangerous.

I personally got carried away and left a great many number of stenciled Guy Fawkes tags on Washington DC sidewalks, a little job which landed me six months of Federal (unsupervised) probation. In a second protest also in The District, I was unprepared to witness the familiar masked faces of my #ANONYMOUS sisters and brothers being replaced by black-clad Soviet influenced disestablishmentarianists. The names I heard thrown around the mobs on the street that day were “The People / Black-Bloc / Antifa(scists),” and by the end of the day a Bank Of America, McDonald’s, Starbucks, Federal armored Suburban, and black limousine had all been destroyed by the thieving hands of miscreant anarchists toting bricks, bolt cutters, and lighter fluid. Our (#ANONYMOUS) tagging of the DC streets was tame in comparison to these savages with the radical liberal set, whose actions tend to abandon concepts liberal and rather embrace behaviours radical.

Understanding Time Travel { how to reach the future }

This is a no-brainer. You get in the DeLorean, you set the freaking knobs and dials and zoom! It’s 2015 and hoverboards are “in.” This is symbolic, of course. The aspect of becoming #ANONYMOUS Hacktivist occurs rather like some of the traditional professional tutelages such as law, or medicine, but with a special tradecraft that cannot be agreed upon by any central organization. This special tradecraft is handed down from senior Hacktivists to the younger generation of students; sort of like Doc handing Marty the flux capacitor and giving him his mission in the future. This cultivation of skill, sharp lookout for aspiring talent, and drive to recruit the unparalleled, are what keep the promulgation of the community alive and well, all parts functioning as a total cohesive unit and with talent on every tier.

As a final pearl, allow me to interject some teachings I received from a Chinese clandestine services officer whom was my cellmate during a time in my life while I was incarcerated, just before I moved to the nation’s capital:

“Feng Shui—means wind and water. America has Double Dragon power, that is why it became strong and wealthy. The Rocky mountains and Apalachians, these two mountain ranges are the fire and water dragon, America has strong Feng Shui. It is about balance, ‘Nu Balance.’ In a balanced strategy, retreat becomes just as effective as attack. Be more evil; seek more balance.”